October 3, 2013
This is a crazy place, the
MTC. But it’s starting to feel like
home. It literally seems like I’ve been
here for months, but it’s barely been a week.
My beautiful companion Sister Reed and I were talking about how if we
had learned this much and worked this hard in our normal lives, we would have
graduated college years ago. I think
what has hit me the hardest in this last week is the gravity of my
calling. I didn’t realize what being a
missionary really meant before. We are
called by God. We have the power to
change lives. We are representatives of
Jesus Christ. His name is on my left
shoulder every waking hour. I AM Sister
Lytle now. Here in the MTC I hear
multiple stories of people’s conversion, and THEIR missionary, and I have yet
to hear a single person speak of that missionary without a tear in their
eye. That’s what motivates me. That’s what makes me want to be better,
that’s what motivates me to keep every stupid little rule, to work hard even
when I have been sitting in the same desk for the past four hours. It motivates me because I’ve sat in a
classroom and watched an 18-year-old Elder bear testimony to me that someone
needs each of us, just as his dad needed a specific missionary to change his life. Someone needs ME.
I’ve also learned here that God is
so aware of us, and so present, and he LOVES us. I’m still in awe of the blessing of my
companion. Sister Reed is so like me,
but so much stronger, and I needed her so much.
What a tender mercy it is to have a companion that can relate to me and
what I love, and have lesson upon lesson to teach me and help me grow. And on top of all that, in her I have found a
friend, a literal companion to help me and love me and pick up the slack I so
often leave hanging. Sister Reed is a
huge blessing that shows God is aware of me, but more often I feel his hand in
my life in the little things. The sun
shining in the classroom during a particularly exhausting lesson, a letter from
home when I’m feeling alone, another sister’s quiet singing in the shower in
the morning to make the day seem just a small bit brighter, the moments when my
gaze catches my bracelets on my arm, reminding me that I am a Lytle girl, and
to “Live Simply.” That motto becomes
more relevant every day. The teachers
here repeatedly stress the importance of teaching simply. My whole life and all my belongings can be
packed into just two small suitcases here, and I’ve learned that it’s the
simple, little things that bring the most joy.
So now more than ever I’m striving to live simply and live in the
moment. Here at the MTC it’s too
overwhelming to look forward on the next year and a half of learning, and
looking back too long can be distracting, so I’m learning the beauty of living
in the moment, being totally present wherever I am, because there is no other
way to truly enjoy life, and no other way to be in tune with the spirit.
I really realized the importance of
being in the moment in a lesson Sister Reed and I taught in our second TRC
lesson yesterday to Barbara. (The TRC is
where people from outside the MTC volunteer to be taught, members or not.) We finally listened to her and the spirit and
didn’t just try to teach the lesson we wanted to, and guess what? It worked.
Because we were in the moment and listening, the spirit guided the
lesson, and I again realized that I alone am so weak, but with God, I can do
anything. After Sister Reed and I left
the room, we were quiet for a moment, then we smiled the biggest smiles we’ve
ever smiled, and hugged each other, and basically jumped up and down for
joy. I’ve never been so happy in my
life. The woman we taught was almost
definitely already LDS, but for some reason that didn’t matter at all. In that moment, I finally knew for sure
that I am in the right place.
Afterward, Sister Reed and I knelt
in prayer in an empty classroom. I’ve
never prayed so much in my life before the MTC.
I had no idea what I was missing.
Anyway, we knelt together and as she prayed, I couldn’t help but enjoy
the beauty of kneeling with someone you really care about in prayer. It’s uniting in a way nothing else is. “A man never stands taller than when he is on
his knees.”
Just a few more fun facts about Sister
Reed and my companionship: So, it turns
out she’s a peanut butter addict like me!
At dinner one night she was telling me about a brand of natural peanut
butter called Adams Peanut Butter that she is IN LOVE with. She was saying, “You have to just give it a
try Sister Lytle, it is the best thing IN THE WORLD! I PROMISE YOU, it will change your
life.” Just as Elder Mason and Elder
Banta (my District Leader) walked up. We
role-play A TON here, so as the Elders sit down, they ask, “You guys are still
role-playing?” We laughed so hard! As I’m writing this it sounds not very funny
. . . the MTC is ruining me! I have a
dumb missionary sense of humor now, haha.
But anyway, that’s kind of our running joke now, that you just have to
preach the gospel like it’s peanut butter!
Sister Reed knows a member of the
MTC Presidency because she’s from Provo.
He has invited us to sit on the front row with him at every devotional
because of that! The speakers look right
into our eyes! I feel so lucky! It’s also given me a chance to meet some of
the presidency members, which has been a huge blessing. I can testify without a doubt that these men
are called of God.
I miss everyone at home so much,
but God has blessed me with a new family to comfort me here at the MTC, my
district. We’re all so different but I
love them all. Sister Morgan and Sister
Freeland dorm with Sister Reed and I, and I feel like we are literally
sisters. Elder Banta is our District
Leader and he takes such good care of us.
Elder Mason is my best Elder bud.
The gun-shooting, horse-riding, grandpa’s-in-the-Forest-Service, country
kid in both of us connected. Our zone is
also really close. Sister Frehner, the
girl who randomly found me on Instagram pre-mission, is so great. Her hugs make my day. Also in my zone is an Elder who stutters. It’s interesting because I’ve never met anyone
who stutters. When talking to him
on-on-one you would barely notice it, but in big group situations his stutter
is prominent. Word on the street is when
he’s confidently teaching by the spirit, his stutter all but disappears. That boy will change lives.
Confidence is actually something
I’m really gaining myself here. My
favorite teacher, Sister Brown (went to the D.C. South Mission,) stresses
confidence a lot. She always says, “No
one is perfect. No one would like you if
you were. You have talents and
attributes ONLY you can offer, that’s what matters. Don’t ever feel like you should be a certain
way, because God needs you exactly as you are.”
She also stresses the importance of silence in teaching and in
conversation. At first I was very afraid
to let there be a pause in my teaching or in answering a question because it
makes me feel . . . well, dumb. Sister
Brown has made me realize that words spoken without thought are useless, and
the spirit speaks better in silence anyway.
So don’t be afraid to stop, think, and listen. Don’t fill the time you need to think with
useless words. Let the spirit fill it
with meaning. No one will think less of
you, especially when you speak with power.
I’m learning so much here. It has been the hardest week of my life, and
also the happiest. Never before have my
imperfections and inadequacies been so apparent, put right in front of my
face. I’ve been brought to my knees, but
only to be pulled taller than I stood before, by my Savior. All I can say is this gospel is the way to
true joy.
God lives. And he loves us.
Fun Facts:
1.
Peter Mower was on an MTC movie we watched! It made me so happy!!!
2.
Sister Reed talked to a girl who returned from
West Virginia a few months ago. The
rumors are true. You get into the
backwoods out there, and some people can’t read. I CAN’T WAIT TO GET OUT THERE!
3.
I fly to West Virginia Tuesday the 8th
on Delta. I’m so excited for my first
plane ride with my new best buds!
4.
I have the best friends and family ever. Thank you so much for your letters and
emails! I live for them! I love you all!
