I have realized that I need to have more faith in people, because if they are ready, they really will keep commitments. One of our investigators committed to come to church on Sunday--the Sunday I was speaking. Thoughts, and doubts, and fear plagued me until that Sunday morning. A sister in our ward picked us up and we drove to pick up our investigator. I had been preparing my talk on fasting all week and I held it in my hands as we drove. My breathing was uneven and I was stressed. I’m still not sure if it was nervousness for our investigator or my talk.
The sun shone that morning more brilliantly than it had all week. The air was crisp. It was a beautiful morning. We finally got to our investigator’s trailer and knocked on his door. And guess what? He answered and was ready! The conversation when we all got in the car went smooth and easy and I couldn’t stop smiling. When we got to church we took him to the chapel and sat down. We talked about what would happen and also just chatted as friends. I expressed my nervousness about speaking, and he told me I was brave to even do it. Then he looked at me and said, “You’ll do great.” I’ve never actually been comforted by that line until it was spoken in that sweet southern accent.
I went and sat on the stand and looked out at the congregation. It looked like any Utah church at home. Except for our investigator’s blue eyes in the back, next to the girl with the tag with Jesus Christ’s name on it. It was beautiful to watch their conversation. Their eye contact, the smiling, the looks around the room. There’s nothing quite as gorgeous as a missionary and an investigator together. I avoided our investigator’s eyes. I was worried I would either laugh or cry. Both seemed very possible.
I was glad when my talk was over, but to my surprise, the stress wasn’t over. In Gospel Doctrine I sat next to our investigator. Every little thing that was said got my mind racing. I would think things like, “oh no, we haven’t taught him that yet,” or “I hope he doesn’t think that’s weird,” and “how is he feeling? Is he okay? Should I say something to him?” It was definitely the most stressful Sunday school class of my life!
After Sunday school we had to let the elders take our investigator to Priesthood. I felt like a mother watching her baby go off to school. Luckily, I serve with some fantastic Elders, and I knew he was in good hands. My thoughts all during Relief Society were on our investigator, and I could hardly stop myself from running to him when afterwards, I saw him in the foyer. Turns out he really enjoyed Priesthood and liked the Elders a lot. I was so happy.
We had a good ride back to take our investigator home. We shook his hand good bye. I hope he felt the Kentucky sky get a little bigger, and a little brighter that day as I watched him walk back into the trailer. Because let me tell you, it sure did.
|Running at Blazer High School|