 |
| How Missionary Work Feels Sometimes |
Tell Bridger he is a stud and that I LOVED all
those memes he sent!!!! Made my day! Sister Pierson and I were laughing
forever! I can't believe he's dating! He can't do that!
So, you talking about A------- preaching to a
room of people who used to be HER teachers reminds me of this week. This week
was intense. It has probably been the most spiritually exhausting week of my
mission. The big events all happened the last part of the week. We have known
for a few weeks that interviews with President would be on Friday of this last
week, and so we had been looking forward to that. What we didn't know, is that
Thursday night, Sister Pierson and the zone leaders were called into a meeting
with President and Sister Pitt. I thought that I would be babysat by Sister
Pitt or something because I don't have the leadership calling that Sister
Pierson holds as STL. But when we arrived, there was a chair for me around the
small table in that tiny little institute building meeting room in Buena Vista,
Virginia. I wish I could even explain the feelings that are involved when you
get to sit in the same room as President Pitt. I feel it in big meetings, but
it is OVERWHELMING in small ones. I still have yet to have an interview with
President that I am able to keep it together even through the opening prayer.
He is called of God. When President speaks, I know that what is being said is
what God would have said. And there is something very beautiful about
that.
We sit down, and President thanks each
of the zone leaders individually for their service as leaders and then turns to
Sister Pierson and thanks her for all her hard work. She was the first STL ever
called in our mission. I had no idea!!! Then he turns to me, and he says,
"And Sister Lytle, you are every bit the STL your companion is. You go on
exchanges, and you are a leader as well. Thank you for being here." As if I
wasn't terrified already, I was dying after he said that. I don't know why I
was so scared, it's not like anything had changed, but I suddenly realized how
much was expected of me. And I felt really inadequate. I'm the kind of person
who is so happy to sit behind the scenes and watch, and work, and build, where
no one can see me. But I realized then that I wasn't behind the scenes as much
as I thought. And that scared me.
Throughout that meeting I was expected to comment
and give my input as President tried to get a feel for what was going right and
what was going wrong in the zone and our ideas on how we can improve and build
here. I felt out of place as I began talking, but as I opened my mouth... just
as the Lord promised... it was filled. I've never felt like a leader before in
my life. Honestly, I can never really think of a time I actually did or even
wanted to feel like one in the least. But as I spoke, and my mission president,
a man I admire with all I am, took note of what I said and built upon that, I
felt like a leader. I realized right then that we are all born to be leaders in
our own capacity. Many of us won't have leadership callings but we are all the
same leaders. We each have something so important to contribute no matter where
we stand. We are all leaders in the sight of God. That was one of the most
intense meetings I have ever been in in my life. I learned more in those two
hours than I have in months. President said one thing that really hit me in
that meeting. He said, "Most of God's children are changed in a very
private, critical moment." We need to be watching. We need to be lifting
others, because we don't know when their moment of change will be, and we need
to do all we can to prepare them for it. That is what a leader does. Life is
about change, about progression, and leaders are only to help that
happen.
As we drove home from the meeting that night,
there were so many thoughts running through my head that I thought I would explode.
I wish I could even tell you a tenth of the things that were said in that
meeting. President Pitt has a way of making you want to be the best you can be.
I imagine being with him leaves you feeling in a small way how being in the
presence of Christ would make you feel. So incredibly loved, but at the same
time, you come out with an incredible desire to change, and to be the best you
can be. I was, that night, on the cusp of my personal, private moment of
change. But the actual moment didn't come until the next morning at
interviews.
Interviews are done at the same time as district
meetings, and President calls us out one by one. I was first. President called
me in and we began with a kneeling prayer, as always. The sun shone into that
little church room that morning as I knelt with President. His prayer spoke
beautifully of our Savior, and the ability to change because of him. I opened
my eyes full of tears. He asked me how I was doing. It was interesting to
reflect on three months ago, when I sat in my first in-field interview with
him. I had wanted to leave. I didn't know if I could do this mission thing. And
now, I never want to leave. He asked all the right questions, and he said all the
right things. I could have sat in that room and said nothing, and President
would have known everything, he is so in tune with the spirit. I honestly can't
remember most of what was said. All I know is I came out, and I
knew that I was going to be exactly obedient, and that I was going to be the
best I could be. That was confirmed to me as we were role-playing in district
meeting. We were role-playing the plan of salvation with an emphasis on God's
love for us. The way things were going with the role play led me to say words
that were not my own. I looked at Elder Hawes as he pretended to be an
investigator and I said, "God did not create us to be second class. He did
not create us to be anything less than a celestial being. He created us to be
the best. And he loves us." No one needed to hear that but me. The spirit
spoke to me because I again, opened my mouth, and it was filled. That was my
moment of change. I was not created to be anything less than the best
missionary. I am the daughter of the most powerful being in the universe, and
he loves me! And this next part of my mission... it's going to be the best
because I now know that :)
Right after district meeting Sister Pierson and I had to drive to Lynchburg for exchanges. I got to spend it with Sister Morgan in Lynchburg again in that adorable little one story, hardwood floor house. I
just love it there. The drive there was glorious. It takes you up and over this
mountain after crossing across beautiful Virginia fields. Sister Pierson and I spent the hour and a half drive with tears in our eyes. After we had been quiet
for quite some time at the beginning of our drive, Pierson looked over to me
with tears running down her face as we topped the peak of the mountain. The sun
was shining like it never has before. She looked at me and said, "God
loves us so much. Can you feel it?"
And I said yes.
I wish I could explain my relationship with Sister Pierson. We like to describe ourselves as an old married couple. We
fight and tell each other we suck on a regular basis, and once in a while there
are punches thrown--haha. But we love each other. I would do anything for that
girl. I have never met anyone who understand the atonement like she does. She
is so real, and she is so strong. I feel like Satan works extra hard on her
because she is going to do such amazing things in her life and he doesn't want
that to happen. But she is strong. I can't wait for you all to meet her. There's not a doubt in my
mind that she is the factor that was going to make or break my mission. And she
made it. I owe her the world.
I love you guys so much. You are everything to me.
I can't even explain. Thank you for raising me the way you did. I am so happy
to be me now. I LOVE YOU!!!!
 |
| Not sure this is what they meant by ratting your hair. . . |
 |
| Christmas Golf Cart Ride |
 |
Christmas Day in Collierstown
|
